It always seems like my princess is in another castle. If only it were so easy, that all it took to win the heart of a beautiful lady was to jump on a few heads and eat a bunch of mushrooms. I tried that once; jumping on heads, mind you, not eating mushrooms. Needless to say it didn’t go down well, and I found myself planted like a turnip; but instead of soil there was a toilet and instead of a turnip there was my head.
I decided there, with toilet water swirling around my face, that I had to do some serious training if I was going to succeed in my quest for a girlfriend. There was this one girl I fancied, Apple her name was, like Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, but not Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter (as if I could aim that high). She was bookish, though I wouldn’t go as far as saying she’d read the rules for D&D 3.5, with blue framed glasses, freckles and long strawberry blond hair.
After consulting with my party members we agreed that, stat-wise, I was a mage, so I tried to impress Apple with my intellect. I returned defeated, a sharp dent in my Happiness Points. Following more deliberation, I tried the path of the rogue and tried to use my natural charm. Not even a saving throw of 20 could have saved me from that embarrassment; everyone laughing and pointing at me. I would’ve preferred facing Cthulhu, honestly.
It was suddenly very obvious; Apple must like strong, mighty warriors. Thus began my training in the perilous Gymnasium. At the very least, a high strength stat will reduce the damage when she cuts me down, right?
Is this based on any one in particular? It sounds kinda like your basing it on past experience
ReplyDeleteThis is funny.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't based on anyone in particular, but I'm sure many people would be able to relate. Myself included! Thankfully I've never seen a toilet bowl up close and personal ^_^
ReplyDelete